Let’s Talk About Personalities

Aisiku Ose Andrea
4 min readMar 23, 2024
Photo by Matúš Kovačovský on Unsplash

I like to think that I have a pleasant personality. I have taken many personality tests, but the most “official” one, by 16Personalities, labeled me The Advocate(INFJ-T). I accepted it because it resonated a lot with how I already saw myself: a tad introverted, almost bordering on ambiversion, intuitive, idealistic, compassionate, and principled, among other things that come with the persona.

But then, this personality, which people, including me, see and know, requires a lot of background work — the background being my mind.

Photo by Tim Umphreys on Unsplash

Before

It took me a while to say these words out loud: I have a council in my head. Where most people have a voice, I have a council of voices. It got to the extent that sometime between 2018 and 2020, I sorted that council into four voices and gave them names.

These names were based on the personalities I chose to assign to them. Instead of being phantom beings that went about like dementors in my mind, I captured them and forced them into four molds.

Breathe. Live. Be Sane.

Be Georgetta. Think only of good things.

Be Brigitta. You shall be responsible for the bad.

Be Quylla. Be the one who enforces silence when I need it.

Be Robin. Be the one who helps me make sense of what Georgetta and Brigitta have to say. Be the meld. The in-between.

Photo by Raimond Klavins on Unsplash

To date, I think I have only told one person about this — Festus. I cannot remember what led to the conversation that made me spill my guts. Because I am cautious when talking about the worlds and lives I create and live in my head. After all, it is one thing for people to think, Oh, she’s so weird and a little crazy, too. It is another thing entirely to think, Nah! That girl should be certified insane.

In all honesty, these girls understood the assignment and made my life easier — for a while. But then, for reasons I cannot entirely place, they faded into the background, and I forgot about them. Until Festus decided to check on me recently, asking, How are they?

What baffled me the most was not that he was asking about them. First, it was that he was asking about them where even I, their creator and landlady, had forgotten about them. The second baffling thing was his question, So, who did you replace them with? Like he knew and accepted that my subconscious could not be rid of occupants. My reply was that she’s still in creation.

Now

Photo by Sharon Pittaway on Unsplash

I watched a video recently that advised that I create a personality that is everything you are afraid to be. It rang in my head. Although I love my personality, there are so many things I wish I could be — to be more, to be bolder, to say my mind more often, to be more audacious, to not run from conflicts.

So, finally, I have decided to create a new personality. I do not need personalities to help me discern good and bad. Over the last few years, I have been able to groom myself and my mind quite reasonably.

With every passing day, week, and month, I have been able to tell the difference and accept who I was, who I am now, and who I want to be. I look at the person I used to be with a little bit of pity. I want to hug her and tell her some days will be easier and she won’t always have to find solace in her head.

I quite like the person I am now. I see her as a block of stone with some parts chiseled out. She’s not a finished artwork, but if you look well, you can see the promise. The Pieta would never stand a chance.

Photo by Grant Whitty on Unsplash

The person I hope to be is wealthy, comfortable, wakes up every day knowing she is on a purposeful path, has beautiful children, a lively family, and a beautiful smile that stems from the soul. She faces challenges head-on, meeting them without fear, daring to go after what she wants without second and third-guessing herself every time. Like the present girl, she is something of a perfectionist. She thrives on the smiles of others, especially children and their parents.

To become that person, I need the help of this personality I want to create. I know what I need to do. And when I am done, I will embody her, wearing her until we become a meld. Until she is no longer an outfit I have to put on. Until she is me, and I am her. In every sense of the word.

Thank you for reading to the end.

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See you soon.

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Aisiku Ose Andrea

If I wrote down all my stories and conversations with myself, I would be legendary. Instead, I think more than I read and read more than I write.